Blame it on the Mistletoe
by charlibubble
Summary: My response to the CSIFO Christmas Challenge. Secret Santa, Mistletoe and GSR, what more could you ask for! *MERRY CHRISTMAS*


**WARNING: this is SUPER long, I just couldn't stop it.**

**My response to the Christmas Challenge over at CSIFO which you should ALL join if you haven't already. I *may* have gotten a tiny bit carried away, believe it or not this was 12 pages long when written the 'old fashioned' way (i.e pen and paper since my laptop has died) **

**Thanks go to Otie1983 for once again pushing me to write when I have insisted I won't enter - eventually she will stop listening to my protests all together! **

**and to DearSweetPaperCut for helping me scour the world for poetry quotes.**

**The Prompts:**  
><strong>1) Secret Santa - Sara gets Grissom or Grissom get Sara<strong>

**2) someone says "Ho, Ho, Ho"**

**3) mistletoe must feature somehow**

**hope you enjoy, let me know your thoughts. xxx**

* * *

><p>She stepped through the store feeling a little overwhelmed by the sparkling lights, the huge number of people and the extensive range of gifts. There was a reason why she avoided civilisation, especially around the holidays. Everyone seemed to be especially impatient, especially rude and especially arrogant. It was as though Christmas was a virus taking grip of the general population and spreading like wildfire until the dog eat dog attitude had infected everyone.<p>

She picked her way through the crowds with one thing in mind; secret Santa. As ridiculous as it sounded she had agreed to participate. She wasn't very sure why, she had blocked out that particular memory and filed it under 'stupid decisions'. She was pretty certain it was Greg's fault, even if it wasn't she intended to blame him for it anyway.

She couldn't have picked him out of the crowds, didn't see him until it was too late. She was practically standing on top of him by the time recognition set it. A mob of babbling, over-excited teenagers swept past her sending her hurtling into his chest. His scent invaded her senses immediately. She squeezed her eyes closed and took a deep breath before she lifted her gaze to his and flushed a deep shade of crimson. Of all the situations she could have landed herself in, today of all days she had to be stuck in this one.

"Grissom! I… didn't expect to see you here"

She pushed off from his chest and shook her head in an effort to shake off the embarrassment of the situation.

"I…uh… I" and now she couldn't speak, this just kept getting better.

"Secret Santa" he nodded "me too"

He was smiling at her, probably enjoying her current flustered state. She took a few deep breaths to steady herself before meeting his eye again. He really needed to stop looking at her like this. It sent shivers down her spine all the way to her toes. She suddenly realised she was staring, she wasn't sure it counted as staring if he was staring back but she had a strong need to distract from the situation.

"So, who'd you get?"

"I thought we weren't supposed to tell?"

She rolled her eyes and gave him her very best flirty look. If he was intending to play games today she was planning on joining in.

"Oh please, what's Greg going to do? Poor boy's terrified of you!"

He did seem surprised by her statement. It seemed pretty obvious to her that Grissom made him nervous. He had told her as much many times and she was sure he had told Grissom too. Her eyes fell to the box in his hands, a silver bracelet dotted with tiny blue gems.

"I'll guess Catherine?"

He raised an eyebrow, she wasn't sure whether to be insulted he was surprised or not.

"It's beautiful, but it's not very Catherine is it? She's a little more _obvious_"

His poor hapless expression as he stared at the bracelet brought a wide smile to her face. He was genuinely uncomfortable buying gifts, it just wasn't his thing, and he tended to over-think everything.

"I could help you pick something out if you like?"

She realised a little too late what kind of a situation she had just put herself in. Their relationship was just beginning to get back to that easy flirting stage they had once enjoyed but they were still very guarded around each other, still very aware of every glance, every touch, and every word. She had potentially just agreed to spend the day with him. It was as close to a date as they were ever likely to get.

"That would be great, thank you"

He tilted his head a little and she realised they were still standing in a busy department store in the throng of the Christmas rush period.

"I know this little jewellery boutique off strip that could have just what you need"

He nodded and without thinking she took his hand and steered him in and out of the crazy Christmas shoppers. By the time her brain had caught up they were outside of the store and although she released her grip on his hand he made no effort to let go of hers. The warmth radiating from his hand and up her arm was glorious and terrifying all at the same time. The air was cold and crisp outside but the throng of people continued. She seemed to be frozen to the spot, unable to move, speak or form any kind of intelligent thought until he looked at her with so much confusion that she internally slapped herself in an attempt to snap out of it.

"Yeah, uh... it's this way"

The boutique was tucked down an alleyway off strip with a cluster of thrift stores and book shops. She could see he was completely out of his comfort zone here. He stood out like a sore thumb shifting from one foot to the other in the centre of the store. The cashier smiled at them from behind the desk, greeting them immediately and steering Grissom towards the jewellery display.

She loved this store, almost all of her jewellery came from here and her eyes danced over the delicate silver chains and well-crafted accessories, each one unique and handmade. She could feel his eyes burning into her, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. This was unexpected. He was acting as though he had never spent time with her out of work before, like he was seeing her for the first time and that was exciting. It sent chills up her spine despite her attempts to stop her imagination running ahead of her.

He gently placed his hand on her arm making her jump with surprise and take a sharp intake of breath. He waved a small box in front of her containing a necklace with a tortoiseshell butterfly perched on the bottom. Her eyes lit up as she examined the beautiful shimmering colours glistening on its wings.

"I love it…" she breathed before remembering the purpose of their visit. "Catherine though… I think she'd prefer something like this"

She picked up a chunky linked necklace that screamed Catherine with every fibre of its being and pressed it into his free hand.

"You're right… she would"

He took the box from her hands with a soft smile and waved it in the direction of the cashier, she disappeared to gift wrap it leaving them alone in the store.

"Who did you get?" he asked, pushing his hands into his pockets uncomfortably.

"I got Nicky"

"you know what to get him?"

"Not got a clue, something….. Manly?"

His grin quickly broke into a laugh, an honest, hearty, contagious laugh. It had been a long time since she had heard him laugh like that.

"Shall we find our nearest cowboy's 'R' us?"

"Well do you have a better idea then Mr Know-it-all?"

Grissom paid the cashier and they stepped out onto the street again.

"As a matter of fact, I do"

"of course you do" she smiled "ok let's hear it"

"I heard him talking about 'the Da Vinci Code' in the break room last night"

She tossed him a half smile and headed to the bookstore next door. For a second she thought he wasn't following her, she was well into the store and surveying the shelves when the bell chimed again and their eyes met in a moment that made her heart pound in her chest. This wasn't supposed to happen. She was supposed to have her feelings under control.

"Did you find it?"

He knew her answer of course; she had gone to the wrong aisle completely. Her eyes glancing along the spines of the poetry section. He moved to her side, he was close. So close she could feel the warmth of his body as he reached out and removed a book, flicking it open near the centre pages.

"_The wondrous moment of our meeting, Still I remember you appear Before me like a vision fleeting, A beauty's angel pure and clear_…. I had this book in college. I loaned it to this girl and never saw it again"

Sara raised an eyebrow and took the book from his hands. Her fingers gently traced the carvings on the cover before she flicked through the pages.

"I bet she thought it was a beautiful love token"

"I never saw her again either"

"maybe she wasn't in love…" she quipped as she handed it back to him with a smile.

She turned on her heel and headed towards the best sellers section. By the time she returned Grissom had collected an impressive stack of books and was patiently watching the cashier wrap them when she materialised between the shelves with Nick's gift. When they stepped out into the street again an uncomfortable silence settled over them. It was obvious that neither of them really wanted to go their separate ways. Grissom glanced at his watch before turning his attention back to her.

"I'm a little hungry; would you like to have dinner with me? We still have time before shift."

Once upon a time she would have jumped at the chance but despite her heart racing, her head was screaming at her to say no, to quit while she was ahead, to save herself the heartache of building her hopes up again only to have them shattered by Grissom's cowardice.

"I don't think that's a good idea Grissom…"

The confusion and hurt rendering in his eyes was almost physically painful. She had an insatiable urge to pull him into her arms and whisper sweet nothings in his ear, this was getting ridiculous.

"I… I mean, I have stuff… to do… at home. Rain check?"

"Of course. I don't know what I would have done without you today"

They stood locked in a silent understanding, the rest of the alleyway and the Christmas rush melting away into oblivion until a young man with a camera interrupted them.

"I'll take your mistletoe photo for 5 bucks?"

Grissom genuinely looked like he had just been slapped on the face for no apparent reason. It amused her somewhat to see him rendered speechless by someone other than her, he simply stared at the poor boy until he started to back away. Neither of them had noticed their rather unfortunate position directly under the infamous mistletoe in 'mistletoe corner'. It seemed that fate was playing tricks on her once again but she decided in a moment of madness to seize the day.

Her ability to make sensible, conscientious decisions seemed to have abandoned her as she nodded to the young man and carefully placed a soft, gentle, incredibly sensual kiss on Grissom's cheek. Humiliation washed over her, she really couldn't believe that she had held his hand, kissed him and rejected his dinner proposal in one day. She was one big walking contradiction. She had to remove herself from this situation before she did anything else stupid. He was just standing there before her, an unreadable expression in his eyes. She really wanted him to say something to break the moment, anything. Ideally he would gather her into his arms and return her embrace but they both knew that would never happen. Instead she shook her head sadly and made a hasty exit.

Xxx

She sat in the corner of the break room attempting to blend into her surroundings as much as humanly possible. The building practically fizzed with excitement; Christmas Eve was a notoriously busy night in Las Vegas. While Christmas time for some was filled with magic and love, for others it was filled with loneliness and resentment. For Sara it made her painfully aware of just how empty her life had become.

"Ho, Ho, Ho Miss Sidle, would you like to sit on Santa's lap?" Greg Grinned as he flopped down beside her.

"You're sick Greg"

"well… what did you get me? Is it Naughty or Nice?"

"Shut up Greg, you know I didn't get you!"

"Well I hope whoever did was feeling naughty!"

He kneeled down to survey the presents under the tree. In the tradition of Secret Santa everyone had signed their presents 'from Santa' there was no way of knowing who had got who.

Catherine, Nick and Warrick appeared in the doorway with a smile as Greg fell over in his attempts to retrieve his gift. They were all discussing their plans for Christmas and she suddenly wished she was anywhere but here. Her Christmas plans consisted of sleeping late and working early. The same thing she had done for the past 5 Christmases and she imagined she would be doing for the next 5.

Grissom wandered into the room with a deadpan expression. He hadn't spoken to her since she abandoned him in the middle of Christmas shopping other than to hand her her assignment earlier in the shift. His eyes settled on her across the room and she had to fight to keep her gaze firmly on the floor.

Greg started passing out the gifts rather too enthusiastically. She was tired of overthinking everything, when he handed her a small box covered in gold paper she was tempted to slip in in her purse and open it at home. She may as well have at least one gift under the tree on Christmas morning but everyone was looking at her expectantly as they tore into their gifts. She slowly picked at the folds in the paper with her nails and peeled it back to reveal a small purple box. She recognised it immediately, was it possible that her secret alleyway jewellery store was better known that she thought?

She tilted the lid and gasped at the necklace nestled inside, the very necklace she had held in her hands earlier that day. Her eyes sought him out but he was already turning to leave. She was slightly overwhelmed; maybe she was reading too much into this, it could be a completely innocent gesture.

Everyone filtered out, headed towards their homes and families filled with Christmas cheer. She waited until she was alone again to open her gift fully. She studied it intently as though the answers she needed would be hidden on the wings. Mandy appeared behind her, peering into the box.

"That's beautiful! Pretty special gift if you ask me" she said as she poured her coffee "who's it from?"

Sara snapped the box closed defensively as her over tired and over worked mind struggled to come up with a coherent answer, Luckily Hodges appeared in the doorway to usher her away, thus rescuing Sara from explanation.

The weight of this gift was bearing down on her; she had to know what it meant. She was tired of playing games with him, tired of wondering if everything meant something or not. Her heart raced almost as fast as her head as she stepped towards his office. It was a peaceful place for her, almost as much as it was for him. She watched him work through the pile of paperwork on his desk. She had always been honest with him, since the very beginning he had been well aware of her feeling for him yet now when it came down to confronting him, words choked in her throat. Her feet were firmly stuck in place. She wanted more than anything to sweep everything off that desk and throw herself at him; she positively ached with desire but for now all she could do was watch him as he worked, lost in concentration and case files.

She was about to clear her throat and approach him but her nerves failed her. Too many times she had lay her heart on the line for him, too many times he had hurt her with his reluctance and fear at overstepping the invisible line that she knew they were already miles across. She fished in her purse intending to find the necklace and give it back. It was a childish act of defiance and she recognised that but if she didn't it would be a constant reminder of everything she had lost; her dignity, her pride, her confidence and most importantly her heart.

The box felt heavy in her hands. She opened the lid slowly to glance at the dainty butterfly inside and noticed for the first time a message scrawled inside the lid.

"Andre's 8pm 12/24"

Xxx

She really shouldn't be here; she certainly shouldn't have dressed up. She swallowed the lump in her throat and stepped through the doors nervously. Her fingers lightly danced on the butterfly around her neck. It nestled gracefully on her breast bone, she was sure it was thumping right along with her racing heart.

"I owed you dinner" his voice behind her, almost whispered in her ear, rendered her completely defenceless. Whatever anger or resentment she may have had towards him melted in that instant. She had never felt so nervous before in her entire life as his hand pressed onto the base of her spine and steered her towards the reception.

He had reserved a table, assign of forward planning perhaps or maybe she was the consolation prize instead of an actual date. There was no doubt that this was a date restaurant. Tables draped with red tablecloths and lit by candlelight nestled close together, a lone pianist serenaded the diners with ambient music and the waiters all spoke in hushed tones in an attempt to almost vanish into the night.

"You're wearing the necklace" he nodded towards her with a small smile "it looks beautiful"

He spoke softly, softer than she had heard him speak for a long time. It was beginning to dawn on her that this was a huge step for him. The last time he had told her she was beautiful, even in his own round-a-bout Grissom kind of way was nearly two years ago.

"You could have told me you picked my name" she smiled

"but then it wouldn't have been a surprise. I got you something else too…"

He slid a parcel across the small table. It was wrapped in the same golden paper as her necklace had been; he was momentarily distracted by the waiter as she reached out for it. It amused her slightly that he knew exactly what her drinks order would be. She rested her hands on his gift and regarded him with a steady expression that defied her inner workings. Her mind was racing a mile a minute in direct competition with her heart. If they didn't stop fighting soon she was sure she would explode.

"How did you know I would come?"

He paused with his glass poised at his lips, obviously contemplating his answer carefully.

"I didn't"

Their eyes met in the candlelight, it had been a long time since they exchanged gifts. It seemed inappropriate somehow given their complicated relationship. She carefully tore the paper away, her eyes lit on the intricate designs on the cover of the poetry book they had discussed earlier.

The love token.

Her heart was fit to burst. She raised her eyes to his once again, pleading with him to make his intentions clear. It wasn't fair to keep her in the dark like this. She needed it to be black and white, light and dark, ying and yang. She needed to know exactly where she stood.

"I'm glad you did" he reached across the table and took her hand, his eyes never leaving hers. She was sure if she allowed her emotions free reign she would burst into tears but her composure was yet to abandon her completely. With his spare hand he opened the book to the inside cover, in his oh so familiar penmanship he had inked a short message.

_I saw you then as I see you now_

_Through love's impassioned blindness,_

_A heart so fashioned there within_

_Filled with love and kindness._

_- Richard N. Cook _

_When I look Back_

She felt as though she was having some kind of an out of body experience, she willed herself to say something. Anything would do, but her brain had shut down. Her eyes moved from the beautiful words penned in the book and found his, this didn't have the desired effect. If anything it made her worse, his eyes could enchant her, entice her and speak to her without using a single word. She was glad of the distraction of the waiter.

Throughout the meal their stolen glances became harder to ignore. She didn't mention the passage in the book although it weighed heavily on her mind. She was determined to enjoy the meal for whatever it was, or wasn't. Rationalisations were her strong point, she could rationalise anything to the point that she wasn't sure she could remember the true meaning of a lot of things in her life. There was every possibility this was yet another misconstrued attempt at keeping her on side. Whenever she started to move on, whenever she gained a little ground or a little control he always seemed to pull her back in.

"You know it took me almost an hour to make my way back to the strip today" he mused over his meal.

"Really? I'm sorry, I was…" she tried desperately to come up with a clever and witty way to say humiliated.

"Embarrassed? I had to buy the photograph too" he fished in his pocket and handed it to her with sparkling eyes and a smile.

"Five bucks well spent Grissom, you look like I just bit you!"

"Well I wasn't exactly expecting… that"

"you know it is the tradition…"

"Traditionally mistletoe was used to end wars; enemies would declare a truce under the 'plant of peace'"

She smiled to herself, thinking about how fitting his description had become. 'A truce' would be a good way to describe the state of their relationship right now.

When their meal ended they stepped out into the cold night air together. She was glad to have that easy feeling back. It was exhausting being on edge all the time, it was nice to relax and enjoy each other's company again, just like they used to.

At least that's what she thought until out of the blue he had cleared the space between them and his hands were on her waist. She was so surprised by the sudden bodily contact that she didn't see the kiss coming. All of a sudden she felt his lips against hers, his chest pressing against hers and his hand caressing her hip. She wasn't sure which sensation to focus on first.

His hand gently found the soft skin of her face, his thumb lightly brushing her cheek as he pulled away to look into her eyes, he didn't speak, didn't expect her to speak either. There was no need, their eyes spoke volumes and their lips met again and again. As she began to relax in his arms she poured all her emotions into that kiss, even if it was the only time she was ever to experience the taste of his lips and the feeling of his skin against hers she intended to make every single second count.

He pulled his lips from her before she was ready, a hollow ache settling in the pit of her stomach almost immediately. She didn't want it to be over; she didn't want to go back to the way it was. She wanted to spend the rest of her life in his arms, every waking moment kissing those lips. When she prized her eyes open she realised he was looking at her, really looking at her. His eyes filled with so much honesty it almost frightened her. This was real, really real. Every dream and fantasy she had created paled in comparison to this moment. He spoke softly as though afraid to scare her off.

"Merry Christmas, Sara"


End file.
